A friend was convinced that her PHS-adopted shih tzu-mix was actually a trendy new breed made up of shih tzu and French bulldog until I asked if that meant the pup was actually a French Bull Shitz? Yea, I know, with friends like me … Merriam-Webster defines purebred as “bred from members of a recognized breed, strain, or kind without admixture of other blood over many generations.” Dictionary.com states “one of a registered breed” and Wikipedia notes the key is when the animals get “recorded.” The common thread: a dog is a purebred because someone says so.

Maybe that makes sense when considering venerable institutions like the American Kennel Club. AKC has been recognizing, registering and recording purebreds since 1884. But 133 years of stick-to-it-iveness aside, it is a voluntary suspension of our collective cynicism when we grant authority for others to “recognize” and in turn standardize a breed (height, color, etc.). While that ship has sailed for breeds from affenpinschers to Yorkshire terriers (sorry, there are no AKC recognized breeds which begin with the letter Z), what about all the new kids on the block?

What about the doodles (golden- and labradoodle), pugles (pug-beagle), cockapoos (cocker spaniel-poodle), schnoodles (poodle-schnauzer), goldadors, (golden retriever mixed with yellow lab), Yorkipoos and Maltipoos (you guessed it), Chorkies (Chihuahua-Yorki) and pomskies (pomeranian-husky)? You can certainly find “fancier clubs” and breeders for these, the top 10 list of designer dogs, and others but personally I think it’s all a lot of poppycock (itself a combination of the Dutch word for soft food and the Latin for poop).

I adore dogs and simply can’t understand why a golden retriever mixed with a poodle is more or less wonderful, more or less lovable, as either a goldendoodle or a mutt. The serious issue here is that people are once again monetizing dogs: breeding (sometimes in very awful ways) what they know the market wants. Dogs deserve better, and that’s something we can all recognize.

Ken White is the president of the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA.